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• 豆
• mail
• 2024/07/15 14:20

Nice to meet you. I am currently 44 years old. I moved here last February to marry an American man. He is 8 years younger than me. Including our dating period, we have been together for about 5 years. We talked about breaking up many times during our relationship. （ From me ） That is he is arrogant, does not bend his opinion, justifies himself, does not admit fault, makes me look bad. He says everything as if it is my fault. His excuses are too childish, etc. But I'm not perfect either, and we have different cultures and values, so I had to break it many times at first.

I was in business in Japan for 10 years. I worked alone for 10 years in Japan, never depending on anyone. Then came Corona, business slowed down, and at that point I asked ？ if I could come to the US for 3 months to get engaged. I made the decision to close my business because I didn't know what would happen with Corona even if I continued my business, and I knew that if I took 3 months off work, I would lose my job. However, the business loan remained and I am still paying it. I never thought when I started the business that I would meet and marry a foreigner.

Then I moved to Japan last year, but the big change in environment, lack of money, and language barrier caused depression last year and it got worse. No matter how bad my depression got, they wouldn't let me go back to Japan even though I wanted to go back just temporarily.

He is a person who thinks he is the most righteous person, he disrespects me, he does not respect me, and many other things.

He is a person who cannot honestly admit his mistakes, he makes excuses for this and that and blames me for the opposite.

When you are on good terms, don't worry about money. You can save money for your debts or to get a new license in the US. But when you fight, it will be overturned.

"You save money only for you and I share with you"
"You wanted a divorce from the beginning"
"You think nothing of my stress and pressure"
"I don't want you to have my property. I don't want you to take my property away from me," etc. Whenever we fight or I talk about divorce, he says this.

A few months ago he took my feelings into consideration and said, "You can go back to Japan or go to school for your license in the US, either way I will pay for half of the travel expenses you spent in Corona and I will respect you no matter which decision you make. But yesterday, during our fight, he again showed the same lack of respect for me.

I am wondering if he has multiple personalities ？.

And he acts like a victim. How it is my fault, I only want a divorce, in your opinion. He even says that you control me and threaten me by saying so.

I am not controlling at all and every time I say it because I really think divorce would be better.

I'm stupid enough to try to believe you again.
But in the end he wants to control me because he himself is the one who wants me to respect and honor him and be kind to him and always want me to work for him.

Yesterday I said, "You said you would respect my decision. Please abide by it. "I told him about the divorce.

But instead of respecting it, he started criticizing me again.

And even when it came to the money he said he would pay half
of, he added, "Consider the cost of the visa application, the legal fees for the green card ！, etc." After all he doesn't want to pay a penny if we are getting divorced.

He just wants to look good, I am a good man who is devoted and supportive of my wife, very nice on the outside but childish on the inside.

We had another problem earlier this year. I started driving a car he hadn't driven for years after he emigrated.

Then one day the police pulled me over. The police said, "This car is out of insurance and its so-called inspection ？ expired a few years ago."

I was stunned. But his point is
"I hadn't driven it for so many years that I forgot about those things."

It's clear that the insurance is expired if I haven't driven it for years, and I would normally think that he would at least do maintenance on it before letting me drive it, but he ignores things like insurance and inspections, even though maintenance is fine, but he's not letting me drive it on the freeway by myself. That's where I worry that it's not safe. It is completely wrong. Then I received the paperwork regarding the police ticket and thought I was safe because I paid it online, but recently, six months later, I received the paperwork from the court.

"The remaining violation fee is still outstanding".

He contacted the court because he didn't understand what it meant, but as it turned out, the court documents themselves were opaque, but he was also opaque and his excuse for paying was that he had never been through this process before and didn't understand.

If I didn't know, I would go to the court with the documents.

But he didn't the first time. It was like this is probably how it would be. As a result, I'm waiting to hear back from the judge whether my license will expire after one year or last for five years, and it's unclear when that will be.

He has everything taken care of by the company （ his car is provided by the company ） which means he can't do even the most common things himself.

He still says "trust me", but he said the same thing when I got my first ticket and I trusted him, and this is the result.

He's too moral and he's too appropriate, I don't think he'll ever change.

• ryugaku2001
• mail
• 2024/07/17 00:06

Hi, can I do OPT and F1 visa at the same time? This is a way to work and go to university at the same time.

• meow808
• mail
• 2024/02/02 08:00

I know that if you are a US citizen, it is impossible to renew your Japanese passport in the US because you cannot present your green card, but
can you renew your Japanese passport while you are temporarily in Japan for a few weeks ？
I looked on the website, All I need to renew is the passport that is about to expire and an application form.
Since it takes 7 days from application to receipt, is it theoretically possible to renew my Japanese passport during my temporary stay, even after
obtaining US citizenship?

*I know that I lost my Japanese nationality when I acquired US citizenship, and that checking "no other nationality" when renewing is a false application, so
I am not seeking such an answer. I am asking if it is possible to renew or not.

• May
• mail
• 2024/07/09 07:40

I moved in in April and recently used the air conditioner for the first time, and after turning it off, water leaked onto the floor. However, he did not come to see me right away. In the meantime, the leakage has been getting worse and worse, and water is even seeping out between the boards of the flooring. I noticed yesterday that there was mold growing in the closet and the clothes smelled musty, so I took out everything inside. It has been almost 3 weeks since I first reported it, and as I expected, they will be coming to look at it around today, but honestly, I don't want to be in this room anymore. Is it possible to complain to the manager and rent another room in the apartment ？?

• Maru
• mail
• 2024/07/12 22:51

I work in a restaurant.
I would appreciate it if you could give me some definitions about 10 minute breaks and 30 minute breaks ！

because I have never been allowed to take a break at the restaurant I currently work at. I didn't think much of it before, feeling that it was just a break, but the other day I was checking my work hours and found that I had been given several 30 minute breaks that I had never taken, and they were exploiting my pay. Of course, I checked with the president, and later he said, "I found out the cause and will pay you the amount that was deducted.

I was shocked, because it was normal to pay, but there was not a single word of apology, nor any reason for the 30-minute break I had taken the liberty of putting on.

I haven't thought about suing yet, but I wanted to write here to make sure I understand the law.

I would appreciate it if someone could tell me more about this.
I would also like to know if there are any specialists whom I can consult ！ .

• なでしこ
• mail
• 2024/07/13 22:59

I had the flu in January of this year and was treated by Urgent Care. In April, I called the hospital and they acknowledged their mistake and said they would stop billing me, but the other day I received a letter from the collection agency asking me to pay that amount. I contacted the hospital again and admitted the mistake, but the operator could not help me and asked me to contact the agency from my end. I sent the hospital bill, receipts, and credit card payment details by letter, but the same demand letter is coming again. What should I do ？

• Tarn
• mail
• 2024/06/21 18:29

Recently, I received a message out of the blue from a social networking site
threatening to tell my family about this social networking site.
It was from a woman that my husband and I know and our children know. Her name is a fake name, but she knows our family's name.
I have been told and exposed to things on that social networking site that are not true.
I am so angry why she is doing this to us as fellow parents with children.
I consulted my legal advisor who told me that it is possible to identify the individual and go to court and win 100% of the cases. I asked the lawyer to do all the work because there is a lot of process involved in identifying the individual.
We paid the attorney a $2500 initiation fee.
I know this is the end of our relationship with this family, but we have to do this to protect their honor.
I would not go to court if they would recognize the seriousness of the situation and apologize to me, but
I think that would be impossible since they were completely amused by the contents of the e-mail and called me a "you".
Please be aware that there can be extraordinary people around you all.

• rak
• mail
• 2024/07/06 21:50

I've been trying to get a reservation from Corona for a long time, but I can't seem to get one looking more than a year ahead. When I call, I am told to enter the access code.
Is there any chance I could eat if I wait outside the restaurant waiting for a reservation to be cancelled ？.

• MM
• mail
• 2024/06/11 17:57

A friend of mine is coming to Japan from the U.S. and I asked him ？ to buy two sets of towels
and he said I was insane to ask for such things when they are so big.

I became a little uncomfortable.

I asked him how many suitcases he might bring and he just asked me
isn't it rude to be insane ？

he should have just said sorry we can't fit your luggage in there. What do you think ？?

• moni
• mail
• 2024/07/14 08:11

I will be applying to SDSU and USD graduate schools for Fall 2025 admission.
I would like to hear real testimonials from current students, but I don't know anyone at this university, so I need your help.
I will be taking the Psychology department, so I would be more than happy if you are from the Psychology department.
Please message me if you are a current student, alumni, or know someone in these universities ！.