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Vivinavi Los Angelesこんな旦那をどう思いますか?
- #1
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- 日々難航
- 2010/01/15 12:36
私たちは結婚1年半の夫婦です。旦那は再婚で私は初婚です。
最近、旦那の言っていることがよくわかりません。
例えば、何かを決めるとき、私が「どっちでもいいよ。」というと、「優柔不断はやめて、君の好きなものを選びなよ。」といわれます。
私は、それから優柔不断はよくない!と思い、色々な面で自分の意見を通して行動したり、発言するように心がけてきました。
そしたら、「俺は君の奴隷じゃない!自分勝手!」と怒鳴られ、離婚してやる!」と怒鳴り、家出します。これが幾度と無く続いています。別にこちらは離婚する気もなく、いつも仲良く過ごしていると思っているので、私はどうしたらいいかわかりません。
ちなみに旦那は50代後半で、最近は家にこもって仕事しています。人とあまり会いません。そして、妙に自分に自信があります。
朝、5時におきて仕事する為、私は気をつかって11時過ぎると「早く寝たほうがいいよ。」と声をかけるのも「奴隷」のように感じるようです。心配して言うことも、指示されているようで嫌がります。帰宅後、石鹸で手洗い、うがいをしないので、注意したら「うるさい!よごれてないからいいんだ!風邪なんかひかない!」と怒鳴り散らします。
あと、頑固すぎて一度決めたことをやり通さないと怒ります。途中で考えの方向展開は許しません。ある程度、柔軟に適応していかないと、と思う私ですが、どうなんでしょうか?
最近、このような状況が多々あるのですが、男性の更年期障害とかなんでしょうか?
- #5
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旦那様は50代後半ですか。う~んまず変える事は無理だと思います。
頑固で自分の事はほとんど正しいと勘違いをしているんですよね。
稀に心で自分が間違っていると思っても決して相手に(特に奥様には)誤らないのが一般的な特徴です。
このまま顔で笑って心で耐えるかまたは相手を差し支えのない程度にあしらって自分に負担にならないように好きなように暮らしてみてはいかがでしょうか?(だって相手の顔色をうかがいながらの生活って疲れるでしょ)
もしあなたがまだ若いのでしたら旦那様と別れて自由な生活をするのも選択の一つです。
我が家は結婚生活25年以上のベテランですが…ま、似たようなものです。(若い時はそれなりに家族思いの主人でしたけれどね…)
帰宅して手を洗うように言って知らない振りをされても…ま、私に影響ある訳ないしと思ってます。
早く寝た方がいいよって注意しても…ま、私が困る訳でもないのでいいかと思ってます。
訳のわからない矛盾した事を言われても…主人の心がかなり乱れておるわいと思ってあまり気にしません。
強く言うと逆切れされますが…こちらの気分が悪くなるのでほどほどに知らん振りします。
遅く帰宅しても決して理由を聞かない事にしています
これ以外は…
言われた事とか頼まれた事はやるようにはしています。
何かを私に買ってくれた時は大いにありがとうと言います
すごくむかつくことを言われた時は我慢する分、へそくりを多めにピンハネします…将来の自立のための資金です(笑)
一緒に居ても疲れない相手が一番なんですが状況とか性格の違いで難しい場合もありますので離婚を考えないのならそれなりに面白く暮らせる方法を見出す事でしょうかねぇ。。。。。。。。たぶん。
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