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• 令和のおかん
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 11:15
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If you go back home with your family, the entire amount will come out of the family budget ？ It is a difficult time to raise children, so if you get along with your husband as well as possible and have him treat your children, I think you will be on your way to a solution.

• raila
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 12:28
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I understand your feelings because when I first got married and didn't have a work permit, I felt uncomfortable living solely on my husband's money.
In the end, I wanted to spend the money as I wanted and also to study English, so I worked under the table.

Now that I have a green card and can earn quite a bit of money, I can spend as much money as I want without having to worry about my husband. I still think it would be a good idea for the topier to increase their income so that they don't complain.

• Reina
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 12:29
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If you both want to work together, why not leave the children in preschool and both work?
If your husband is against that, you can ask him to let you spend more money freely and to give you an allowance of a certain amount.
If that wish is not met, then why don't you just work instead of listening to your husband?
If he himself wants to raise his children without working or at least not send them to preschool while they are young, then he is choosing not to work, which means he is not earning an income for himself.
If the work is negative or not worth it after deducting the cost of preschool, then that is also a problem for Topy.
(If Topi can earn an income, we are talking about a 50-50 split of everything, including the preschool fees, house mortgage, and other living expenses. )
If you are living on your husband's income alone and he is able to provide you with the money you need to live, be grateful for that situation, but try to negotiate wisely.

By the way, one question: how much money per month does Topi want to spend freely?

• 香奈子
• 2022/05/02 (Mon) 13:56
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I am sorry for your feelings.

First of all, if you tell him how you feel and your husband doesn't change, why don't you leave your children with him and start working ？ In the end, I think you should either work and raise your children or put up with your husband's sarcasm. Nowadays, you don't have to go to work to earn an income, so you can change as much as you want through your own efforts. If you can live without having to depend on your husband, rather than taking out your ideals and frustrations on him, you will be free from his control. Your husband is probably acting that way because he looks down on you, who, after all, doesn't make much money. He asks you to do half of the child-rearing and works half of the time himself. I think raising children is harder for men than working, but if you don't create that situation, he won't understand. Let them know how hard it is to raise children.

• Yumi
• 2022/05/09 (Mon) 22:16
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Thank you for all your input. Of course, I plan to work, so I'm not worried about my future. I asked the question because I wondered if I should be allowed to manage the account alone because I "don't trust you".
If I get a green card, yes, I will have to work on my own, but wouldn't it be stifling if you did that at a time when I can only do housework on a spouse visa and only make money by under the table otherwise ？.