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• バツイチ
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 00:54
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I think it's best to ask a lawyer about that.
After that, the lawyer is just someone else's problem, and he is thinking how he can squeeze out the lawyer's fee by prolonging the case, so don't rely on him.
After that, it is important to check and understand the assets the other party has under their control.
By the way, be careful, because the debt will be split 50-50.

• 弁護士
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 07:47
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They have property and they get into trouble with property.
People who can't afford legal fees don't wrangle with property.

• 花森
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 11:03
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I have heard that it is disadvantageous to divide property if the wife is a Japanese citizen. This is probably because the government would not want her to bring back the property she received back to Japan. I heard that you have to go to court many times, so I think it is better not to return. It is best to consult with a lawyer.

• バツイチ
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 12:09
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By the way, if there are no children and only property division, a paralegal is sufficient.
Regardless of nationality, the property division is 50/50, which is the law.
Also, 401K and other retirement benefits are split 50/50.

• 経験者
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 12:29
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In California, all property is split 50/50, including debts. Nationality has nothing to do with it. If you can't work it out through negotiation, you should be able to settle it easily in court. Basically, I think the only reasons to get into trouble in court are custody, child support, and alimony.

• 昭和のじいさん
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 13:13
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I'm in divorce proceedings and you're living with him
I wonder if he's planning on taking that house.

• 考えすぎ
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 13:18
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You're only living with them because it costs money.

• Kokusaikekkon
• 2021/12/21 (Tue) 20:54
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Thank you all for your advice. The reason we are living together is because our children are also living with us. We are not U.S. citizens and are in the U.S. on work visas. The children are soon to be adults, so there is no custody dispute. The issue is the division of property. Lawyers are still going to be protracted and expensive. Since there is no problem with custody and child support, I think it is possible to consult a paralegal or an accountant only for advice on negotiating the division of property, and consult a lawyer on a case-by-case basis when the husband side hires a lawyer (he may not really want to hire a lawyer because he knows the cost, but he may be saying it out of strength). The property is real estate and a mortgage. I would like to sell the property and settle and divide it, but since the property is in high demand for rent, he does not want to sell it for the future and wants to give me only the remortgage portion and keep the ownership solo, which I do not agree with. The only point of contention is the division of property. He also does not want to pay the 50/50 split for the pension. If it is only property division, I hope we can fight it with only paralegals.

• Chappy
• mail
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 13:23
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I am sorry to hear that you are in divorce proceedings and living together, and I can imagine the awkwardness. We have had the same feelings.　We live in California and just got divorced after 36 years of marriage. My husband is a US citizen. No children. I plan to return to Japan permanently.　Our divorce is only for our house and property division, so we prepared the documents ourselves through a paralegal and filed them with the court. At the same time as the filing, we both signed and agreed to a written document that we would not touch any property in our joint names. Therefore, we sold the house because we needed free living expenses for each other to live on until the decree was issued. We also moved in together and organized the house, but spent each day feeling the awkwardness and the spikes in the other's language. He would stare at me when I packed my stuff （ to see what I would take ）, and I packed carefully to leave him what he needed for his middle age and older life alone after the divorce, but I remember feeling suffocated every day.　Because of Covid19, it took a long time to get the Divorce Decree （ I had to wait about 7 months after the initial filing ） .　After we received cash from the sale of the house, we split it 50 ・ 50 and we both lived in an apartment with it as our living expenses and waited for the divorce decree to be issued. Even though alimony is not included in the divorce, the wife can legally claim alimony at a later date for 10 （ or 15 ） years after the divorce is finalized, and it is the husband's obligation to his wife who has been married for more than 10 years.　Even if the divorce is finalized, I still need to keep in touch with him （ because I will be living in Japan and I will have to ask him for some things ） so I endured it patiently. Now we are spending our time as good friends, keeping in touch day by day. Looking back, I wish I had been a little more relaxed.

• 経験者
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 15:06
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Whether your husband likes it or not, if you divorce in California, a 50/50 split of the property, including pensions, is a certainty if you go to court. If you do not want to sell the house, the person who owns the house is obligated to pay half the value of the house. However, most people don't have that kind of money, so the house is usually sold.

The reason why you think there will be a dispute is because your husband does not agree, and if you go to court, it is obvious that his claim will not be accepted. I think you should be more forceful. I know you are under a lot of stress and often feel bad, but please don't be discouraged.

• mome
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 15:18
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I think you are misunderstanding, paralegals cannot give legal advice. Consultation should only be done with a state licensed attorney.

Is there a situation in which the consultation is to file for divorce court and still appear in court? If so, how long will it take?　This will determine whether you can return to Japan.

Which property is jointly owned by the couple is often a point of contention, but if the property is a pension （ which may be considered joint property ） and real estate ＆ which is only a loan, we can consult an accountant whom the divorce attorney can refer you to for advice on how you can split it 50-50. I think that would be a good idea. If you both want the loan to be in your name and the real estate in your husband's name only ？ ？ if he can pay you half of the equity in the house, then you don't have to put it up for sale.　If we can't agree on this point, we will have to have a lawyer dispute it.

• れいこ
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 15:37
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Question.

When you have been separated for a long time, it is hard to see what the other person is doing.
If one day it comes time for a divorce, what if the other party purposely does it in advance? If you are divorced one day, you may not be able to get into debt (like "let's make a big purchase while we still can, since it will be 50-50 anyway").
For example, if you are divorcing someone, is it possible for the other party to intentionally put you in debt in advance? For example... If you buy a car with a loan and then sell the car and already have no money in hand or some other excuse comes through, you will only be left with the loan.
Or, if they increase the debt with something tangible before the divorce (use it for travel? \Wouldn't it be terribly scary if they did something like that?
I feel like there are loopholes and holes in the law if this kind of thing is going on.
Or, can't assets and debts created after separation be split 50/50?

• 経験者
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 16:39
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#13

Property is for the duration of the marriage, but does not include post-separation property or debts if you have separated. However, since the focus may be on when the marriage was broken, it would be nice to have proof that the house has been in your personal name since separation, or bank or credit card statements showing that income and expenses were separate.

If you have been separated for a long period of time and are concerned about your subsequent debts, you should check the dates before signing the divorce, as the documents you file will specify the marriage start and end dates when you file the divorce.

Divorce is stressful, and I have heard of people who have signed a divorce without properly understanding the contents due to the other party's attitude, but you should never sign if you do not understand the contents, and you should not just believe what the other party says.

• Chappy
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 18:02
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I read ＃ 13 and ＃ 14 posts and added to them （ See post #10 ）. I wrote that my friend's divorcee （ husband ） was viciously mean. Specifically, he used his wife's SocialSecurity number to create over 10 credit cards （ online operations ） and actually used those cards for purchases, plane tickets, etc. She had no idea that this was going on, but she found out when the credit card company contacted her with a payment demand, and it was a lot of work to clean up the mess. He also transferred a huge amount of flight miles in her name to his own account. One such nasty thing after another. Some people are not afraid to do such things to make their wives suffer, so please be very careful in the case of Unfriendly divorces.

• 騙される方も悪い
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 18:04
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↑ Develop an eye for people.

• バツイチ
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 18:17
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Incidentally, an acquaintance of mine was upset when she divorced her husband because he told her that he was mentally ill and that she had been having an affair behind her back after she had made a lot of concessions to him about the division of property.
When it comes to divorce, non-Japanese people are especially unforgiving.

• 類は友を
• 2021/12/22 (Wed) 21:19
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↑ Well, I guess that's one side of the argument
There are always two truths in a divorce.

• れいこ
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 01:56
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I see ！
After all, it is usually thought.

But for some reason, an acquaintance of mine who is separated from her family is unable to buy a house now. ), he lamented.
If you don't get the other party to sign something when you buy the property, they will still take half of it, or something....

You never know what life has in store for you.
Even if you talk about love and love, feelings change over time, and if you have an eye for the base humanity, can you live a somewhat happy life....

• 夫婦円満
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 07:21
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I'm glad you married a good man.

• まー
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 09:12
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Most of the time, the wife is unskilled and only works part-time
she is almost dependent on her husband
he gets fed up with that and decides to divorce her I know a lot of divorced couples and 100% of them end up in property disputes
the couple has a decent job. Couples with wives seem to be quite happy
Figure ？ ？

• 梨
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 16:49
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I think there are not a few couples where the wife's income is better than the husband's and the wife, fed up with it, wants a divorce.
On the contrary, I feel that many couples work better when the "husband works hard + wife works part-time and does the housework. There are many reasons why people get into trouble over property division, so I feel like that is a different story.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 16:49
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The posts in these places
are written in such a way that it is convenient for you.

• Kokusaikekkon
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 19:50
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Thank you all for the many kind messages. I have been reading your messages over and over again so that I can prepare for the paperwork without getting emotionally involved in the mentally tough situation. I was encouraged by your message that you were also able to overcome divorce proceedings while living together.

I have my own income, but my husband has by far the higher income. We bought our house during the real estate boom, so the property value more than doubled, even with the mortgage. My husband's share of the cost was mostly his, so he is not happy with the 50/50. He also lacks knowledge of family law and has difficulty with the 50/50 split of the 401K, saying why ？ when it is his. I think if my husband consulted a lawyer properly, he would understand that there is almost no room for dispute there.

401K, I am researching how I can get information from my husband. If he refuses to give it to me, it will be very difficult if I can't demand it without fighting it in court.

In California, real estate prices have increased several times in the past 20 years, and even if one party wishes not to sell, it is a sale unless you buy out the other party's interest in the present value. What price is used as a reference for calculating the present value, if it is in arbitration? Sorry for all the questions.

• 昭和のおやじは口が臭い
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 20:30
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23
You, a lifelong unmarried man, tell me that, tho.

• 結局
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 20:36
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If we forget to appreciate each other, we're headed for divorce

Because the obvious is not the obvious.

• 日本男児
• 2021/12/23 (Thu) 20:55
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In my experience, you can date foreigners, but you can't marry them.
Especially Americans are hard.
However, after dating a foreigner, I was able to reconfirm that it is Japanese people I want to marry.

• ウザい
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 00:43
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27 guy thought he was trying to make it seem like he could date non-Japanese ？ lame, creepy, annoying.

• 日本男児
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 01:41
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28
It's tough for you who are not popular lol
It's quite normal to date foreigners when you come to America, and once again I just thought that you can't get married unless you are Japanese.
Well, I guess you won't be taken seriously by the Japanese either.

• 昭和のおとっつぁん
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 06:57
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#25

If you do what you are told, you will be told.

Put your hands on your chest and think it over, ha-ha-ha.

• 妄想？
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 09:32
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27 28
Americans are Asian Americans ？

Japanese men who can date white women are very rare

There is nothing more unattractive than Japanese men

Don't put yourself on their level

I feel sorry for you

• 妄想？
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 09:34
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American is American if you have American citizenship

No matter how many people you are, they are all different

An Americanized woman would not choose a man who is atrocious like a Japanese man.

• 日本男児
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 15:55
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31/32
You must be pretty unattractive lol
I've dated Americans, Canadians, Europeans, and Latinos.
By the way, I'm tall and work out to some extent, but maybe you're short and skinny ？ lol
You must feel inferior to white people, don't you?

• 笑
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 16:27
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↑ That doesn't sound like a line from a popular guy

Talk in your sleep.

• 笑
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 16:44
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Inferiority to Whites ？

For example ？

I hear you're the one who feels inferior.

I'm not lacking in women.

Well done!

• 日本男児
• 2021/12/24 (Fri) 21:50
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34/35
Yes, yes, you change your HN every time because you are not confident.
Idiot virgin www.
When did you say Japanese men are not popular, Showa era, lol

> Japanese men who can date white women are very rare

At this point you are showing your inferiority complex
Good for you, being popular in your fantasy, lol!

• W
• 2021/12/25 (Sat) 04:35
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↑ You don't look popular.

• 離婚は大変
• 2021/12/25 (Sat) 04:56
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But you still get divorced, so you must be very good at it.

I've wanted to divorce a million times, but if you're going to go that far, make up, usually.

• バツイチ
• 2021/12/25 (Sat) 18:50
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Divorce is a momentary pain, but I'm so glad I experienced the sense of freedom after the divorce.
I am really happy now.

• 日本男児
• 2021/12/25 (Sat) 19:00
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37
You who are actually not popular with foreigners don't say that.

• かもね
• 2021/12/26 (Sun) 08:16
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When I complain about my husband to divorced people, they tell me to leave him fast ？. I don't hate my husband enough to divorce him, but I do complain about him. But I'm happier than being single, so I'm not divorcing him.