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Vivinavi Los Angeles
Unhappy children who inherited only the shortcomings of their parents.

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • カレー
  • mail
  • 2023/08/06 02:18

I wanted to post this because I wanted to ask you all to listen to the hard feelings I have been having for many years.
I would be happy to hear from anyone who has suffered through a similar situation as I have, and how they are trying to overcome it.

I am now in my 40's and worked for many years on both marriage and job hunting to move to LA, but ultimately my wish was not granted and I recently returned home.
I believe that the main reason why my life is not going well despite my best efforts is because
I inherited my mother's bad looks, which is rare in history, and my father's temperamental personality.
Being a woman and having poor looks is a fatal disadvantage. Her mother, who is in her 70s, is not good-looking, but she graduated from a top school and a first-class national university, is very intelligent, intellectually curious, and has a good way of doing everything, and has many friends with a likable personality. After giving birth, she became a housewife, but during her working years, she earned more money than her father. Because of this, she married her father, who is relatively wealthy, well-educated, and relatively good-looking. On the other hand, my father was smart and chose women based on the wavelength of conversation and their personalities, so he did not particularly care about their looks, but he is selfish, short-tempered, and quick-tempered. I am not as well-educated as my mother, and I don't feel the same yearning for a full-time housewife like my mother, and I don't like children either, so I longed for a single life in LA where I could be carefree. Since I was not good enough to get permanent residency on my own and did not have the good looks to get a man to marry me and support my permanent residency, I had to return home.

After returning home, I have found a full-time job, but it is almost a black company and does not seem to last.
I regret that I should have studied for more qualifications when I was young so that I could get a solid job. I am currently working on my studies, which I was not able to do when I was younger, and I am angry at my parents for not communicating the importance of getting a solid job when I was younger. Part of it is that my parents' generation did not place as much importance on women's financial independence, but all of their wishful thinking about me is off.
My appearance is not at a level that can be managed with petite plastic surgery.

Those who are not in my situation will not understand my situation.
I apologize for the length of this article, but I would be happy to hear from anyone who has overcome similar circumstances.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#2
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/07 (Mon) 08:00
  • Report

If you are looking to move to LA, isn't it possible to do so within Japan?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#10
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/07 (Mon) 10:44
  • Report

Unhappy child who inherited only the shortcomings of his parents
I worked on both marriage and job hunting for many years to move to LA

I am not sure why I would become
married for many years to move to LA when I inherited only the shortcomings of my parents.
Even if you come here to move to LA,
if you inherit only your parents' shortcomings, nothing will work out.
Why don't you forget about inheriting only your parents' shortcomings already?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#29
  • はな
  • 2023/08/08 (Tue) 08:30
  • Report

I'm dreaming of moving to the U.S. and looking for a marriage... I know it sounds strange, but
don't foreign men tend to prefer Japanese girls who are not good looking?
I know it's a bad way to put it, but I think many Japanese girls who are not popular in Japan are popular here, and many of them are able to get married.
Sorry to use this as an example, but I personally think that Nicolas Cage's wife is also popular. I think....

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#39
  • ワクチン義務化
  • 2023/08/08 (Tue) 15:23
  • Report
  • Delete

I believe it is mainly due to the fact that I have inherited my mother's rare bad looks in history and my father's temperamental personality.
I think that the attitude of blaming others when it's your own thing is no good. I can usually figure out what kind of person he is.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#41
  • 笑ってはいけないけど
  • 2023/08/08 (Tue) 20:17
  • Report

Is this a fishing topic ？ or is it so childish and selfish that it doesn't make sense? My parents never taught me the importance of education. I think if you lived a normal life, you would know what is important to you. It depends on each person what is important.
My cousin graduated from high school and earns about $ 800K a year. She says that education is not important. My husband also graduated from high school and makes $ 160K a year, but he doesn't think he would have gotten the job he has now even with his education. I have a college degree but am now just a stay-at-home mom.

I do a good job of raising my children. There are many things that go well and many things that don't go well, but I am responsible for myself. My goal is to raise my children to be decent human beings by a certain age so that they will not have a hard time in the future.

I don't have a career, but each of us doesn't know what is important in life. If you think education is important, you should go back to school ？ and get a certificate ？. If you don't like children and don't want to have children, you can improve yourself without being in a hurry to have a baby.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#43
  • はな
  • 2023/08/08 (Tue) 23:00
  • Report

If petit plastic surgery won't help, why don't you work hard to earn money and get a full-fledged plastic surgery? I think.
I'm writing like this, but honestly, I'm working my ass off. In the end, I feel that you are only blaming others and not seeing the sweetness in yourself, plus you are being sneaky.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#45
  • 私も親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 05:55
  • Report

Mr. Curry, you are neither childish nor selfish. You are a good writer and I get the impression that you are a smart and serious person.
I think the problem is not so much her looks or education, but her low self-esteem and lack of oxytocin and serotonin. Ms. Curry probably grew up lonely and lonely due to lack of love from her parents. If she had received proper affection, she would have grown up being told she was pretty and lovely, and such people would grow up bright and loved by others, even if their original form was not good.
If they are brought up with a lack of love and affection, they will grow up with a dark face and a lack of self-confidence, and they will keep thinking about what is wrong with them.
To manage to give yourself a sense of self-esteem, self-confidence, and happiness that a child raised with love can usually have, you can start with foods such as bananas and meat, which are sources of serotonin, exposure to sunlight, walking, and light exercise. Oxytocin, the hormone of affection, can also be produced by being kind to others and making them happy, or by smiling and waving at children you meet when shopping. Sleeping with a dog or cat that gives you straight-up affection is said to produce as much or more oxytocin as sleeping with a lover or spouse. If you can't have a dog or cat, you can also give your love to fish or birds. I used to go to Inokashira Park often. At first, the birds only recognized me as a person who fed them, but eventually they began to gather around me with affection. As is well known, crows are very intelligent. Even if you are not confident in your appearance or not good at socializing, animals will still give you pure love. It is okay to give love to plants. While doing so, you can make friends who like animals and plants as well, or you can connect with people through other hobbies. The friends you make in this way will not care whether you look good or bad. When you have a cheerful face and atmosphere, they will not care about your bad face and people will see what's inside of you.
If you don't like people, you can find happiness in books and movies.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#46
  • 私も親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 06:13
  • Report

As for appearance, when you are young, you worry about it, but when you reach middle age, you might as well open your mind to the fact that it doesn't matter anymore. I cut my own hair at random, I don't even look in the mirror, and now I can hide my ugliness with a mask, so it's easy for me. I think I will continue to wear the mask even after the corona is over.
If you are really worried about your appearance, you can study the makeup method, if you watch Chinese makeup on Youtube, you will see that your eyes, nose, and facial structure look like a different person, the power of makeup is amazing.

If you are looking for someone who is beautiful but cold, or someone who is ugly but kind and warm, I think that many people would prefer the latter. Don't worry about people who are cold, make fun of you, or talk about you behind your back because of your bad looks.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#48
  • Gg
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 07:54
  • Report

It must have taken a lot of beating to have it erased as much as it has. I think it is a genuine concern for women.
Personality is a good thing if you are careful, don't lose your temper, and respect your partner. As for looks, if you have a good personality, looks are secondary, just like beautiful women get bored in 3 days and ugly women can become ugly in 3 days. My parents say that even if you are ugly, if you are charming, you will be more adorable than if you are beautiful and twinkly.
I know someone who is ugly, short, and chubby, and it surprised me at first, but I got used to it. I was surprised at first, but soon got used to it.
Be ambitious and do your best. I think many people can see the good in you.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#49
  • 私も親の悪いとこ取り
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 08:06
  • Report

In fact, many children in Japan, Korea, and China think that their life is over if they fail the entrance examinations.
It may take some time and years to escape from the spell of having to go to a good school, but if you continue to wish to go to a good university, it is not too late, regardless of your age. If working in a black job is too painful for you, you can take the plunge and change jobs or even change to another part time job and go to college. I think it is possible to try again in the U.S. And as others have said, there are many Japanese women married to American men who wear makeup like Otemoyan, regardless of their appearance, so I think Curry-san has a good chance to get married. How about trying to be friendly rather than good-looking? You said you have a temper, but of course you can fix it, and you can change your personality as much as you want later. A mild-mannered person can turn into an angry person, or a short-tempered person can turn into a tolerant person.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#50

I will be direct.
You are a refractive, helpless person. If your parents are alive, it is their fault; if they are dead, it is society's fault. There are many people like you in the world. I am one of them. I am a man, but I have a friend who looks like you.
I am a man, but I have a friend who looks like you. Everyone sees her as an animalistic type. Her face is a bulldog face that I wish was a panda. Her body shape is short and fat. I'm sure she did a whole lot of makeup and a whole lot of fashion. In the end, none of it suited her. Now it's plain. It's strange, but I'm popular with both men and women. I'm like a sister to women and charming to men.
She brightens up everyone around her and is not sarcastic.
Because she is such a person, she is also married to a proper man.

If you are only concerned about your appearance, borrow money from your parents and go to Korea
How about plastic surgery ？ I think it will change you to a certain extent.
For body shape, go to Lizap.
Have you made any effort ？
What is missing is not your looks, but fixing your ugly personality.
Some people on this forum have given you appropriate advice, but did you reply properly ？
That is what you are missing.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#55
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/09 (Wed) 14:30
  • Report

This place makes you feel like you're back home in Japan.
Leisure near is better than leisure far.

Let's go back to that hometown... Let's go back...
Let's write off the shame of travel

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#60

Mr. Curry


Mother's education Kyoto University graduate
Father's education Waseda University graduate
Curry education Gakushuin graduate
Curry appearance Sae Miyagawa

Specifically, is this what you mean?

If you are fluent in English, highly educated, and still in your 40s, you should be able to find a partner. If you are in your 50s and 60s, this is serious.
You should not aim too high and lower your partner's specifications while you are still in your 40s.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#61
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/10 (Thu) 07:12
  • Report

50
Don't look for alas of others
Tell them how they can eliminate trauma in the future.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#62
  • Tyo
  • 2023/08/10 (Thu) 12:32
  • Report

61

You're the one who started it.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#63
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/10 (Thu) 13:49
  • Report

I know you want to complain, but
let's live our lives with gratitude to our parents.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#64
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/10 (Thu) 15:02
  • Report

Be thankful for your parents, whatever their past.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#65
  • おとっつぁま
  • 2023/08/10 (Thu) 16:06
  • Report

Straightforward Otani's advice ----------

If you are only concerned about your appearance, borrow money from your parents and go to Korea
How about plastic surgery ？ I think it will change you in a certain way.
I'll go to LYZAP for my body shape.




Advice from a Showa-era father ----------

Nearby leisure than far away leisure
Let's go back to that hometown - Let's go back
Don't write off the shame of travel
Be grateful to your parents, no matter what the past may have been.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#67
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/10 (Thu) 16:31
  • Report

Yes, thanks to you, I say thank you to Japan every morning and evening.
Morning, good morning, may you live safely today
Evening, thank you for living safely today

Grandma and grandpa, please come back to this world soon with a new life.

I am the person I am today because my mother suffered and gave birth to me.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#68
  • ゲゲゲ
  • 2023/08/11 (Fri) 12:58
  • Report

Topi, paranoid.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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