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Vivinavi Los Angeles
Idle Time

Free talk
#1
  • 荒川静か
  • 2006/03/07 17:35

最近、取引先の営業担当がnasty jokeをチョクチョク送りつけて来る･･･。　他愛も無いものが多いんだけど、中でも『シンプルだけどクククッっと笑ってしまう』ものを一つ。。。コレ分かる人は英会話（特にスラング）上級者です。

"The Only Way to Drink Guinness"

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair; drinking a beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that
she came over and shouted at me,
"You should be hung."
I took a drink from my Guinness, wiped the cold foam from my lips,
lifted my darkened Ray Bans and stared directly at this nosey bitch and calmly replied...
"I am, and that's why she cuts the grass."

#29
  • jcr01
  • 2006/03/16 (Thu) 00:48
  • Report

よくある初心者向けブロンドジョーク。

A golf teaching pro was giving an entry-level lesson to a group of women.
One of them was a gorgeous blond who wanted to learn the sport to play with her husband.

"Ok, in golf, the most important is the grip. Don't squeeze it. You must give
just the right pressure enough to hold it, not too strong, not too weak"

Everyone else was trying to do what had been just told but the blond had no idea what was going on.
Realizing she had never even touched a golf club before and was rather confused, the coach walked
up very close to her and whispered into her ear a more understandable explanation.

"Remember.... juuuust like when you handle your husband's... you know what I mean?"
then looked down to demonstrate by slowly wrapping his hands around his club.

The coach looked up to check how his beautiful apprentice was doing and shouted,
"No no no! Hands! Use your hands!"

#30
  • ワロた
  • 2006/03/16 (Thu) 18:55
  • Report

オチを予想しながら読み進めましたけど、まあ想定の範囲内なんですが、読み手にオチを考えさせるヒネリがありますな。
なかなかにくい演出です。
手じゃないとしたら、、、上か下か、ドッチなんでしょ？（笑）

#31
  • jcr01
  • 2006/03/16 (Thu) 19:02
  • Report

#30さん
あなた面白すぎ。

#35
  • オカマ！
  • 2006/03/16 (Thu) 23:10
  • Report

これはどう？

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain.
One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and
continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any pharmacy."

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the
pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks
at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks
what brand she prefers.

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."

#36
  • ワロた
  • 2006/03/17 (Fri) 08:23
  • Report

これはヤラレました。
オチが予想できなかった。
まあ完敗ですな。（笑）
ラクダ＞馬なんでしょうか？
それともラクダ＜馬？
ドッチでもいいか。

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