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Vivinavi Los Angeles
Is it still just my small vessel ？?

Problem / Need advice
#1
  • monicasanta
  • 2023/08/17 21:07

I would like to discuss child rearing.
Please especially those who have experienced international marriage and stepchild marriage.

I am a Japanese 35 year old man. My wife is an American 35 years old and a housewife.
We have four children, ages 10, 8, 5, and 2 from the top.

The two older children are the children of my wife and her ex-husband.
The ex-husband pays child support payments of $250 per person per month for a total of $500.
They have had chronic illnesses from the beginning that required hospital visits, but the ex-husband only pays $500 per month in child support.
Currently, they rarely see each other due to ex-husband's availability.

I have been with my older two since they were 4 and 2
I am proud to say that I have treated them as if they were my own.

In this day and age, especially in the US,
it is better to respect the biological father after a divorce and
treat the remarried father as a stepfather only.
My wife tells me "you are a stepfather" every time I have a conflict in parenting.

I am mortified every time.
It's been over 5 years now.
The oldest child has also been remarried longer.

Is it still just my small capacity ？?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#3

I don't think you are a small vessel.
I think you have the right to divorce.
But you also chose to marry with children, so
I think it is one thing to be responsible until the end. I believe your children will understand.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#4
  • ガセネタ太郎
  • 2023/08/19 (Sat) 12:03
  • Report

If I remarry, will I still get child support or anything from my ex-husband ？ ？?

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#5
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/19 (Sat) 12:16
  • Report

They both had chronic illnesses from the beginning and needed to go to the hospital.
They are U.S. born citizens, so they must get help from the government.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#6
  • 質問
  • 2023/08/19 (Sat) 13:38
  • Report

I'm a little unclear on the point.
Are you complaining about being told you are a stepfather ？
or are you complaining about the medical bills you have to pay and you are not happy about it ？
or are you complaining about not being acknowledged as a father for the burden you have to bear ？ Well, I guess it's all of it, and I don't think the Lord is a small vessel.
I think it's great that you treat them as if they were your own children.

Why don't you complain to your wife about that ？
she treats you like her own child in everything, maybe she'll recognize you as a father a little.
I wonder if the real father will even show up. ＄ There's no way 500 is enough.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#11
  • ガセネタ太郎
  • 2023/08/19 (Sat) 17:12
  • Report

By the way, if you remarry, you don't have to pay child support.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#13
  • ゲゲゲ
  • 2023/08/19 (Sat) 19:18
  • Report

If you remarry and the next person you marry is your child
and you don't change your last name too, your ex-husband is still obligated to pay child support, even though there are a lot of DEAD BEAT DADS.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#15
  • 感覚の違い
  • 2023/08/20 (Sun) 00:03
  • Report

Americans think logically

Stepfathers are stepfathers to their children
Too much talk is not tolerated

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#16
  • FB
  • 2023/08/20 (Sun) 08:08
  • Report

There is a site called "Japanese in America" on Facebook, so why don't you ask there?

Anonymous BibiNavi, while ↓ here everyone has a real name, so it's a decent site.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/637768156431069

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#17
  • KUZU
  • 2023/08/20 (Sun) 08:23
  • Report

FB
Facebook is much more sane than asking the FB sanbibi kuzu, although I'm registered here
Everyone is sane.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#22
  • アジッ
  • 2023/08/20 (Sun) 11:46
  • Report

21

This is the experience of someone who had an easy escape.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#23
  • 匿名には匿名の良さも
  • 2023/08/20 (Sun) 12:29
  • Report

If you're going to reveal your real name, you're going to be limited to a certain amount of content

You don't expose your real name to a stranger to talk about these domestic problems
Sometimes it's because you don't know them that you can talk about them.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#25
  • FB
  • 2023/08/20 (Sun) 17:12
  • Report

＞ Anonymous has its advantages

Indeed.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#28

I don't think you can talk like that ？ when you are practically taking care of her as your own child and treating her emotionally. I see a glimpse of your wife's arrogance and convenience, like a good thing.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#31
  • 国際結婚の覚悟
  • 2023/08/21 (Mon) 09:49
  • Report

28
You say it like that. ？

Americans say it clearly, but they don't take it to heart
They say it clearly, so they don't take it to heart

In international marriage, especially, Japanese common sense does not apply

In fact, in America, child support for a child from a second marriage is father's obligation
In Japan, it is the obligation of the person who remarries

If you want something kind in return, you should not do it.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#32
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/21 (Mon) 17:35
  • Report

Some personal crisis The welfare of a child or family member You are ill or disabled

If you are in a difficult situation, a social worker can help you.
You can contact a social worker by asking to speak with a social worker.
Let us know if you need an interpreter. We will arrange for an interpreter.
You can also call the Multilingual Telephone Service.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#33
  • 平成のおにぃやん
  • 2023/08/21 (Mon) 19:13
  • Report

#30

It's the exact opposite of here.
Here, after many years of illegal residence
Permanent residence by amnesty.
Citizenship by flow.
This is a hangout for old people
who can't go back to Japan.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#34
  • アメリカ20年
  • 2023/08/21 (Mon) 20:27
  • Report

I can't have a conversation with someone who just came from Japan
I've been in the US for a long time and I don't feel the same way
But they take advantage of me because it's convenient

It's better for me not to get involved.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#35
  • 嫌な予感
  • 2023/08/21 (Mon) 23:05
  • Report

I don't see Topi coming out.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

#36
  • 昭和のおとっつぁん
  • 2023/08/22 (Tue) 08:04
  • Report

I wonder how long it would take to get a permanent residency with a pardon.

I hope it only takes a year or two to get a pardon.

This text has been translated by auto-translation. There may be a slight difference between the original text and the translation. (Original Language: 日本語)

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