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#1

友達
mail
2026/02/06 17:22

Hi ！
Nice to meet you and post.
I have been in Hawaii for 10 years.
I have a husband and elementary school aged children.
When my children were young, I had a good amount of friends who were moms
but now I only have one friend.
I think I have a difficult
personality, because after getting to know them well, I find I don't like them
and fade away from them. I am also sensitive
to the words of others.
I am not good in large groups either.
I want to keep a good relationship with everyone, but it doesn't go well
.
I feel lonely
with only one friend after 10 years of being here.
I'm also tired of having a relationship where we always party every week
(I had a friend like that before) ？ I wonder if I'm being selfish

How have you dealt with it ? <2069>
I would like to get your advice.

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#5

POPS
2026/02/10 (Tue) 15:31
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Hello. I have been in Hawaii for a long time and have children, but my mom friends only interacted with me during my child-rearing years, and none of them are still friends now that my children are grown. I have heard that there are moms around me who continue to have close relationships even after the distance has passed, but I am not very good at that kind of thing, so unless I hear from them, it's spontaneous. When my children were young, my own life revolved around them, so I tended to focus on my mom friends, but now that they are grown, I have found my own hobbies and my friendships have expanded from there. I don't really like the typical tea ＆ sit down and chat over lunch, so it was ideal for me to be able to approach someone at my own pace while sharing my own hobbies and enjoyment together, which was also a low hurdle. Also, you say yourself that you have a difficult personality, but what was your family environment like growing up? ？ Did you grow up in an environment that made it difficult for your friends to be themselves, such as parents putting unreasonable hopes or pressure on you or being more strict than necessary when you were a child ？? I was like that. I grew up in an environment where my parents always had strange expectations of me and I couldn't express my own personality, so I would always ask others to meet my basic needs that I would normally ask of my parents, and I would repeatedly end relationships when my expectations were different from theirs. I would fade out when I saw something I didn't like, and I would be sensitive to other people's words, but it was completely the same old me who would impose my own ideals of what I wanted the other person to be and what I hoped he or she would be like before I knew them properly, then become displeased and leave when things went a little different. Now I realize this vicious cycle and realize that this personality was not my fault but due to the environment in which I was brought up ＆ After accepting this, I have gradually changed and it has become easier to live. However, it is also true that I spent several decades of my life quite painfully because of this. For this reason I commented because I couldn't think of it as someone else's problem, but if I'm totally misguided, please let me through.

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#6

友達
2026/02/14 (Sat) 23:38
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Hobbyist
I used to think nothing of it, but in recent years
when I realized that I have very few friends
I felt very sad, so I posted this.
Ideally, I would like to find my own hobbies and meet good friends
there.
Thank you for your opinion 😊.

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#8

友達
2026/02/14 (Sat) 23:41
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Banana
Thank you for your opinion😊
I will take action so that one day I can meet a friend
with whom I can be natural.

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#9

友達
2026/02/14 (Sat) 23:52
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Pops
I think it's ideal that you find a hobby and your friendships expand from there
. I sincerely
wish I could meet such friends.
I don't think there is anything wrong with my family environment, but I have realized recently that I have always tried to be a good person
because I didn't want people to hate me
and then I got tired of it and kept making excuses to stay away from people.
I felt that you have accepted yourself and are now living a wonderful life.
I will try to face myself so that one day I can be like that too.
Thank you for your valuable opinion 😊
I decided to go.

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#10

POPS
2026/02/15 (Sun) 09:34
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I believe that awareness is the most important first step, so from now on, if you find yourself thinking, "What is that ？" or "Why is this ？", please take a look at your own feelings, desires, and frustrations. You will definitely learn something from it, and I am sure you will change for the better little by little. I read in a psychology book that most people spend their whole lives blaming others for everything without realizing it. ！ The most important thing is not to be stressed or disillusioned with yourself, but to accept and cherish the fact that "that is fine" and spend your time with it.

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#1

Yutaka_zo
mail
2025/03/05 17:48

Do you think more people have engage in adultery more afte the pandemic since people were home more often?

Not gonna lie. Not really happy in my marriage but can’t divorce my wife. Is there a lot of Japanese married women that engage in adultery? How and where do they look if I would assume most work from home or take care of the home?

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#2

？
2025/03/06 (Thu) 18:40
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It's been quite a while since the pandemic.
There's been a temporary increase in working from home, but not nearly back to where it was before the pandemic ？

And I don't understand how it makes sense that if people stay home more often, there will be more infidelity.

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#1

t&f
mail
2024/09/29 12:08

I am currently working in a Japanese restaurant
I can't make friends of my age.
I don't speak English, but I can't make friends my own age.
How do you find friends?
I've been told that I should be proactive and talk to them.

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#1

Allure
mail
2023/10/01 13:47

I am a woman living in Hawaii.

I heard from a male friend of mine who is engaged to be married.

He said that girls who are Japanese tourists and are engaged to be married don't know too much about the high cost of living in Hawaii.

You shouldn't say you want to get married, move to Hawaii and become a housewife.

No matter how beautiful you are, how healthy you are, how good your character is, marriage is a life.

Most couples living in Hawaii work together. Even the wives of doctors.

The cost of living is 2-3 times that of Japan. Japan is the only developed country where prices and incomes have remained almost the same for decades. Hawaii is America, so men and women are equal. It is not uncommon to find couples where the wife earns more than the husband.

If you want to have children, you should earn your own money as well as your husband's.

If your husband has already paid off the mortgage, that's still fine, but if you both buy the house and pay for it together, you can pay it off faster and have more credit in your own history in the future.

If the husband dies first, the wife won't even get a survivor's pension until she is in her 60s.

Too few companies will hire a Japanese woman in her 60s who has never worked in Hawaii at all.

Start working in your 20s, 30s, and 40s to gain experience. I used to be a tourist living in Japan, so I would be very happy if I could be of help.

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#27

類友
2023/10/30 (Mon) 14:18
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#27 P

So you get married, regret it, and get divorced.

You finally meet a man who makes the same or more money than you and remarry. Japanese women.

If you live in Hawaii, there are many Hawaii men looking for Japanese women. Regardless of nationality.

Japanese women are popular not only with Asian, Middle Eastern, and mixed, but also with white and black men, so good luck Japanese men ！！.

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#29

一
2023/11/19 (Sun) 02:35
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Are white men still popular these days ？
I don't think so in Hawaii.
I feel that there are surprisingly many people who remarry Japanese after divorcing white men.

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#30

second
2023/11/19 (Sun) 20:14
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＃ 29 Ichi-san

I guess it's a matter of fate and preference.

Some people have a Japanese husband the first time in Japan and a white husband the second time in Hawaii, and a black husband.

Some people are also white the second time and black the second time.

I have never met a Japanese man living in Hawaii whose wife is not Japanese （ White Black Asian other ）.

I still wonder if many Japanese men are looking for Japanese women.

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#31

Two
2023/11/20 (Mon) 00:55
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Yes, I agree.
Japanese women have married and remarried to people of various races, not only Caucasians.

Japanese men have only met Japanese women who are wives.
If there are any men here in Vivinavi who have wives of non-Japanese race
I would be happy to hear various opinions.

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#32

一
2023/11/23 (Thu) 11:46
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Dear Second and Two

Thank you for your reply. I learned a lot.
It is a marriage, isn't it?

But have you married or remarried a white or black man
and has it lasted ？ long?

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#1

Kanikani22
mail
2023/08/06 03:28

I'm sorry, I just wanted to post this to see if anyone knows anything about this.

If anyone has been to couples counseling, I would like to know the good and the bad ？

I had to quit my job, and now that I quit, I spend more time with my husband, and I am very stressed and worried. We both don't want a divorce.　He is usually a good person when he is in a good mood, as well as in terms of finances in his old age.

Maybe it's his age, but ？ he talks more intimidatingly than before.
When I point it out, he says I'm wrong, and when I start recording him, he takes on a kinder tone.
He is not fair. ！ In front of a third party, he is a quiet husband.

I see couples counseling in movies, so I wonder if this really improves the relationship ？.

It seems expensive.
Please let me know if you know anything about it.

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#2

Sean0914
2023/08/06 (Sun) 03:48
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I have had the pleasure of working with Dr. Setsuko Yano a long time ago.

It depends on the person whether it is effective or not,
but well, it changed my viewpoint and I am glad in some ways.

I was also able to use HMSA's insurance.

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#1

bluesamurai22
mail
2023/02/11 19:07

Could anyone please advise on where to find single Japanese in their 20s and 30s in Portland?
Thank you in advance.

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#1

ぱらぱら
mail
2022/05/10 16:25

Sheraton ・ Grande ・ Tokyo Bay ・ Hotel is offering an exclusive plan for Urayasu residents ！
https://modules.marriott.com/wedding-fair/jp/tyosi-sheraton-grande-tokyo-bay-hotel

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#1

瞳
mail
2021/11/11 11:03

There is going to be an online social event in Chino on December 4.
Looks like it's for Chino City residents up to about 40 years old.

https://s-kantan.jp/city-chino-nagano-u/offer/offerList_detail.action?tempSeq=15256

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#1

chrisT22
mail
2021/09/28 14:04

I live in the Bay Area. I am looking for a woman to meet this weekend. Please contact me if you are willing.

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