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• 荒川静か
• 2006/03/12 (Sun) 14:39
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近藤さんは普通の状態で作ってるんですかね？
寝た子を起こしてからじゃないと小さ過ぎるでしょうね。
工場がアメリカン・インディアンの保護区とかポーランドとかなら寝た子のままでもいいのかも知れませんが・・・。（笑）

• りりあん
• 2006/03/12 (Sun) 18:56
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このトピはやっぱり男性用なのかな？
実は結構jokeはすきなので（笑えないのも多いけど。）、密かに見てる女性の一人です。
スラングとかではないけど、#1が女性蔑視な感じがしたので同じネタで女性上位なものを一つ。

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

• 荒川静か
• 2006/03/13 (Mon) 00:50
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この手の話はデカイか小さいかって言うのがネタになってることが多いですね。
特に若い男性諸君の中に大いに勘違いする輩がいるかも知れませんが、女性の側から "Size does matter" と言ってるように聞こえます。
その昔、ＧＯＲＯやスコラという雑誌を見て勘違いした坊や達が街に溢れていたように、アメリカ人の中でもサイズ神話は根強いようですね。（笑）
５０歳を過ぎた知り合いの白人男性が言ってたのはSizeよりもmotionが大事だと…シモネッタですが私も賛成です。（ギリギリＯＫ？それとも削除？）

• ワロた
• 2006/03/13 (Mon) 07:57
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こーゆー話はね、男がネタとして笑われても、逆に女が笑われても、どっちでもＯＫなんですよ・・・男的には。（笑）
だから＃２４みたいのもガンガン言ったらヨロシ。

• 眉間にシワ
• 2006/03/15 (Wed) 22:41
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密かに愛読させてもらってたんですけど、もう新ネタはないのでしょうか？楽しみにしていますのでお願いします。(^0_0^)

• jcr01
• 2006/03/16 (Thu) 00:48
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よくある初心者向けブロンドジョーク。

A golf teaching pro was giving an entry-level lesson to a group of women.
One of them was a gorgeous blond who wanted to learn the sport to play with her husband.

"Ok, in golf, the most important is the grip. Don't squeeze it. You must give
just the right pressure enough to hold it, not too strong, not too weak"

Everyone else was trying to do what had been just told but the blond had no idea what was going on.
Realizing she had never even touched a golf club before and was rather confused, the coach walked
up very close to her and whispered into her ear a more understandable explanation.

"Remember.... juuuust like when you handle your husband's... you know what I mean?"
then looked down to demonstrate by slowly wrapping his hands around his club.

The coach looked up to check how his beautiful apprentice was doing and shouted,
"No no no! Hands! Use your hands!"

• ワロた
• 2006/03/16 (Thu) 18:55
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オチを予想しながら読み進めましたけど、まあ想定の範囲内なんですが、読み手にオチを考えさせるヒネリがありますな。
なかなかにくい演出です。
手じゃないとしたら、、、上か下か、ドッチなんでしょ？（笑）

• jcr01
• 2006/03/16 (Thu) 19:02
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#30さん
あなた面白すぎ。

• オカマ！
• 2006/03/16 (Thu) 23:10
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これはどう？

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain.
One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and
continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any pharmacy."

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the
pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks
at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks
what brand she prefers.

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."

• ワロた
• 2006/03/17 (Fri) 08:23
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これはヤラレました。
オチが予想できなかった。
まあ完敗ですな。（笑）
ラクダ＞馬なんでしょうか？
それともラクダ＜馬？
ドッチでもいいか。

• ギャハハハ！
• 2006/03/17 (Fri) 18:58
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Lightと言わないんだからCamelオリジナルでしょ？８０歳近いお婆ちゃんがCamelのオリジナルを吸ってるんだ。ラクダねええええ、男の人が砂漠で遭難した時に♀（メス）のラクダが出て来る話は知ってるけど、でも笑わしてもらいました。個人的にはラクダ＜馬だと思います。馬はスゲーから。（笑）

• オカマ！
• 2006/03/17 (Fri) 19:31
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駱駝ついでに。

The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.

During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.

He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

"Well, sir," is the nervous reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... m-m-m.... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir."

The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."

About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges.

Crazy with passion, he asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sxx with the camel.

When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"

"Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replies.

"They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

• 荒川静か
• 2006/03/18 (Sat) 07:54
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この話は、ずいぶん前（もう１０年以上前？）に聞いたことがある気がします。
それも日本で、日本人から、日本語で聞いた記憶があります。
でもストーリーもオチも全て忘れていたので『こんなオチだったっけ？』と懐かしい想いで読ませてもらいました。
男のバカさ加減を笑ったものですね。
男性蔑視だ！なんて叫ぶ気はもうとうありませんので、ご安心を。（笑）
Nice try!

• オカマ！
• 2006/03/18 (Sat) 10:19
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今日はサンディエゴに行かれる方も多いみたいですね。
もうひとつ、（エッチ話抜きですが）駱駝ネタ。

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks,

"Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"

The mother replies,

"Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

"OK"

said the son. A few minutes later the son asks,

"Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert",

the camel mother answers.

"Thanks Mom"

replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks,

"Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies,

"They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without
drinking for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand
from our eyes and these humps to store water, but... Mom?"

"Yes son?"

"Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"

• jcr01
• 2006/03/18 (Sat) 12:16
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今晩サンディエゴに行きます。相手国応援団に囲まれつつも、このジョークを思い出しつつ、
笑顔と余裕をもって行きたいですね。頑張れ日本！とりあえずはお礼まで。トピズレ失礼。

• きもいよ、君ら。。
• 2006/03/19 (Sun) 06:24
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>#39
男性蔑視以前にきもいよ。。。笑えない。

• はあ！？
• 2006/03/19 (Sun) 22:08
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キモイというからにはジックリ読んだということ。

つまり興味深々だったことの裏付けでもある。

キモイよ『君ら』と二人称の相手を貶める表現のＨＮを意図的に使っている。

君らがキモイと言いたいのではない。

そんな『君ら』に比べて自分は上等な人間だということが本来の主旨。

唐突に出て来て、妙に不自然なほどクールに決めたコメント。

『君ら下等な人間同士で話してないで上等な俺に注目して尊敬しなさい』というメッセージ。

悪いが、そんなエゴ丸出しのお坊ちゃまの子守りをするほど出来た人間はそうそういない。

他を当られよ。

• ギャハハハ！
• 2006/03/20 (Mon) 09:57
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まカレーにスルーして行きましょ。
＃４２は１８禁とか心配せずに済むし安心して笑えますね。

• オカマ！
• 2006/03/20 (Mon) 13:39
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もうひとつ、駱駝ネタ、エッチ抜きで。

A man bought a camel from a woman at the market, the woman said "to make him go say 'phew' to make him stop say 'Amen'."

So the man hopped on the camel and said 'Phew' to make him go. The camel started running out of control. The man couldn't remember what to say to make him stop so he started calling out any old words "peanut butter sandwiches', 'abracadabra". He then noticed the cliff edge coming up, he prayed to god; "Please help me, save my soul, Amen...."

The camel stopped right there, inches away from the edge of the cliff.

Then the man said "Phew".

• 荒川静か
• 2006/03/20 (Mon) 14:17
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これはシンプルだけど好きですねえ。
このバカバカしさは私の大好物です。（笑）